Being the person that I am and the way I was raised and the things I saw, I truly believe in allowing a child to be a child.
Now I am strict and I yell and I am hard on my son. I’m not his friend, I’m his mother. I am not here to be his friend, I am here to be his parent and guide him in life.
Now I have seen some really crappy things when it comes to parents fighting or single mom stressed to the max.
This is why I have come to you all today to remind you that your child is not your therapist!
We all vent and sometimes we vent to the wrong people.
I have seen time after time where parents vent to their children and you can’t do that.
Children are impressionable.
What I want to talk about is when a parent decides that they are going to talk badly about the other parent to the child.
My parents had their fair share of arguments and I had to listen to how one felt about the other. Now I was older when my parents got divorced and I already had my opinion on the matter and I knew how I felt about my parents. I wasn’t really a kid. I was 14 when my parents divorced.
But it didn’t change that it hurt.
I’m a single mom. I love my son to death and I will do anything for him. Now I haven’t seen or heard from my son’s father since 2007 and I am perfectly okay with that. We have nothing to talk about and my son is perfectly fine without him. I was 19 when I had my son and one thing I promised him was to never speak ill of his father. My son is now 7 and I have held up to that promise this far and I have no intention of breaking that promise now.
Your child is not your therapist.
Your opinion of your childs mother, father, grandparent or whom ever is not your child’s opinion.
I know a few parents who like to vent to their kids and talk badly about the other parent and I just ask myself why? What do you get out of it? Does it make you feel better knowing you just totally trashed someone your child loves and to them. You just broke their heart, so what, you can feel better?
An adult conversation is not meant for your 6-year-old.
Maybe your situation isn’t ideal and yet again your child’s mother or father didn’t show up for their weekend. Does it break your heart to see your child cry? Wanting to know why mommy or daddy doesn’t want to spend time with them? Of course it breaks your heart and of course it makes your blood boil and you have some hurtful things to say. But you can’t say them to your child or even around your child.
How you feel doesn’t matter. I’m being honest. Who cares how you feel!! Because I don’t. My concern is your child, which should be your concern.
When you decided to have a child, you decided to be a parent and to put them first. So sure, you might be pissed off but your child doesn’t need to see that. More importantly, they don’t need to hear it! They don’t need to know your opinion on their mother or father.
You decided to protect and love them forever. Don’t be the reason they break.
What you say matters!
Don’t break your child because your broken.
My opinion of my son’s father is my opinion, not his.
My son has asked me about his father and I wasn’t sure how to answer at first. It’s hard when your son is 6 and wants to know why he doesn’t have a dad. All I can tell him is that I’m sorry his father isn’t around and that he has me and I remind him of all the people he DOES have! That night I cried myself to sleep, but he doesn’t know that and he doesn’t need to know. He doesn’t need to know his question broke my heart, because he does deserve a dad but sadly just wasn’t in the cards for him.
I will not break my sons heart, I will not take my sons smile away, and I will not involve my son in adult things.
Why? Because he’s a child and life is too short to have them grow up too fast!
Your child is impressionable.
You guide them and you teach them. You show them love and compassion. You are there to pick up the pieces but don’t be the cause of those pieces. What you say to them does matter. They hear you and they will hold on to those things!
Children are not as naïve as we think. They remember things and if you treat your child as if they are your therapist they will remember and later in life they will most likely turn against you because of this. Children are meant to be kids and not meant to listen to your problems. You are there to listen to theirs.
The point of this post is to be a reminder that you are supposed to be there for your child, not the other way around.
If you need to vent or someone to talk to than find another adult. If you feel the need to trash your child’s other parent, please do so to someone that is not your child.
Children are not as naïve as we think and they hold on to things.
Don’t push your opinion onto them.
I know it can be stressful and when you’re sitting outside waiting for their mother or father to show up and you get a text ‘oh, i’m sorry I can’t make it’, it makes your blood boil. You have to tell your child they’re not coming and that sucks! You probably have to hold your little one and say it’s okay, we’ll do something, and you have to cancel your plans because they bailed on your child. I get it. It sucks, but that doesn’t mean you need to tell you child their mother or father is an asshole or a bitch and how much you hate them.