The day I found out I was pregnant started out like any other day. I was over my boyfriend’s place, laying in bed and working on my blog. He was in the living room laying on the couch watching TV and playing a game on his phone. I picked up my phone and checked my period tracking app. Nothing unusual, 1 day late, however, I felt like I had to take a pregnancy test. And this is the day I found out I was pregnant. Sunday, April 9th, 2017.
Being a mom is everything to me. I love Jaiden to death and would do anything for him. He’s the best gift I have ever been given and I couldn’t imagine a life without him. Being a mom is such a rewarding, crazy rollercoaster of a job and I am so thankful to have the pleasure of experiencing such a thing. However, two years ago, I found out I was pregnant. I wanted to be a mom again so bad but I knew in my heart it wasn’t the right time for me or with the right person.
I chose to have an abortion. I wasn’t in the greatest place in life and I was struggling to take care of my son. I am aware there are other options, but for me, there wasn’t. I did what I felt was best for my family at the time. You can read more about my abortion story here. After my abortion, I thought I would never be blessed with a child again. I thought I may not be deserving of one.
I moved across the country in hopes for a better life for my son and I. I didn’t know what my plans were entirely and it was very hard. I felt alone a lot and I missed home. I missed everything that was familiar to me. However, I knew I had to embrace everything that was new. I decided to start dating. I’m not getting any younger and if I am gonna settle down, I have to meet people and date.
Fast forwarding to Thursday, April 6th, 2017. Jason took me to the store which is when I purchased the pregnancy test. My period was due on Saturday and I wasn’t having any of my normal ‘my period is coming’ feelings. Once I got home, I took a test which resulted in a negative. I texted my boyfriend and went on about my day.
Sunday, April 9th, 2017. I was at my boyfriend’s when I woke up and decided to get some blogging done. I laid in bed going over a few emails and trying to come up with some new blog post. I decided to check out my period tracking app which had indicated that I was a day late. This was normal for me. My cycle is usually 24-25 days. I normally would have let it go but my gut was telling me to take another test. So I got up and I did just that.
I sat the test down on the sink and that horizontal line popped up and for a few seconds, I thought I was good. I got myself together, washed my hands, looked back down and there was that blue vertical line. My heart sank, I went back to the bedroom for a few minutes and just starred at it.
Being a mom is everything to me and I for sure have no plans of walking down that same path I did two years ago. I cried. Jason and I haven’t been together long at all. This is a very new relationship. I wasn’t doubting anything on his end, I was just scared and worried what my family may think. Once I got done crying and able to breathe, I was excited.
I want more kids. I don’t want Jaiden to be an only child and even though there will be an almost 10-year gap between them, I am beyond excited to be blessed with the change of having a baby again, the chance to expand my family and give my son a sibling.
Though Jason and I haven’t been together long, we have worked a lot of the details out and we are both extremely excited to be parents.