Lifestyle, Personal

Childhood Friendships.

We all have childhood friendships. Sometimes they last and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes it’s because you move far away or maybe there was a tragic accident. We all have had them. We all have had that childhood friend that we thought would be by our side forever.

Friendship_001Please note this is a photo by me of my son & nephew

Growing up our parents remind us how important it is to stay young and enjoy our childhood because it doesn’t last. They tell us how being an adult just down right sucks. The tell us how paying the bills basically sucks balls and how they have to go to work all the time to pay the damn bills when they would rather be home. But, do we actually listen? Not really!

Who wanted to deal with homework and curfews? How about doing chores? We wanted to do what we wanted, when we wanted and how we wanted. We saw that was what our parents could do and that is why we often wanted to grow up so fast. What sucks is they even warn us about bills and working but it never sinks in.

I moved in my childhood home not long before my first birthday and my best friend lived right next door. We shared a top step! I always thought we would be inseparable. I thought we would grow up together, always be best friends and share all of our secrets. I thought we would be the friends that had our children around the same time.

But, there is this thing called life and well… shit happens…

We didn’t go to the same school but we still made sure to hang out and stay close even though we did have different groups of friends from school. We managed to make it work and still be best friends. We hung out and I remember this one time my mom did like this mini photo-shoot with us around my house and on my deck! It was so much fun! We literally sat on the side of the deck… Ahh the thought of that makes my heart race.

With growing up, we change. People change. There is nothing we can do about it. It’s part of finding out who we are and where we belong. It sucks, but its life and we have to accept change in order to survive.

We changed. She was growing up like a typical girl. Starting to like boys and make up and all the girly things I wasn’t into. I think this is about when we started to drift apart. Something I thought would never happen.

My parents separated and decided to sell our home. We moved away. Not far, but far enough that we wouldn’t be seeing each other much because we were just kids. Not like we could just hop in a car and go see each other.

I felt guilty for so long because I left her. I left my best friend behind and I didn’t do anything to stay in contact with her. I didn’t do it on purpose but I did it. I had so much going on that I didn’t know what I was going to do and I still feel so bad for not being there for her when she needed me. Or what I like to think is that she could have used my help and I wasn’t there. I should have been there but I wasn’t.

I hated that we grew up and I hated that we separated and just weren’t close anymore. I never thought this is something that would have happened to us. She was my best friend, she was my family!

I eventually moved back home. We got in touch with each other but didn’t make many plans. And then it happened…

I got pregnant and my world was falling apart once again. I didn’t know what I was going to do or how to deal with everything. Time passed and I had my son. She came to the hospital to meet the new love of my life and her Godson.

Things got better for us. We spent more time together and she helped me out with rides here and there. I felt like we were close again! I felt maybe our friendship was off the rocks and back to smooth sailing. But again, Life happened and we have to go with the flow.

We haven’t been in touch in the last few years and some things had happened and my feelings were hurt. But I got over it and I wish I had told her I wasn’t mad but I didn’t. And I regret that.

She recently contacted me and it got me thinking about childhood friendships.

Does she know I care? Does she know how much I miss her? Does she understand things from my side? Does she miss us? How is she doing? What are her plans for the future? Will she be going back to school? When will we see each other? Will we make amends? Will my son remember her? Will my son get to know her?

All I can do is hope that she knows I care and know that I will always be here for her in whatever way I can be. She will always be my best friend. My childhood best friend, my family! I will always love her like a sister! And will always hope the best for her and her family!

What happened to your childhood bestie? Did you survive growing up or end up going your separate ways? Is there something you wish you could of done different to make it work? Do you miss them? What are your thoughts?

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  • Reply Kathryn C

    Wow. This was such a deep entry Amanda. And I commend you for taking the time to write your feelings. Sometimes its the only therapy to get everything out. I had a best friend growing up. We knew each other from well. in utero my mom said. our moms were pregnant at the same time. anyways, we went to the same elementary school even the same jhs. but once hs came, we drifted. different school, different friends. we never called each other. its been years since ive spoken to her. she moved on, living in another country. but im proud of her and miss her. shes now a doctor. and i couldn’t be more happy.

    but there are days where i think about her. the what ifs. does she miss me? or us? i know i do. Im still in touch with my jhs bestie. thank god for that. but i still miss my utero friend.

    -Thanks for sharing.

    August 21, 2013 at 1:35 am
    • Reply AKee88

      Thank you Kathryn. I really didn’t plan to write this for myself. Since she got in contact with me it really just made me wonder… How many of us really do Survive those dreadful teenage years! It sucks that high school is what separated you too. Maybe you should try and get in contact with her.

      August 23, 2013 at 12:58 pm
  • Reply Stormy

    My childhood bestie is a friend of facebook, and even though we’ve grown up and made it through our personal hardships – she’s still here for me. And me for her. She’s more than a bestie. Like a sister. Then I have my adult-bestie, whom I met as a mommy – and we talk like … everyday. Non-stop. One of my high school besties and I lost contact though – I wish we’d still talk, but we are both so busy with life: her with her career and I with my kids. It just fell apart. Broke my heart for a while, but I know she’s doing great.

    That photo is perfect! The way he’s looking up at him, soo adorable.

    August 21, 2013 at 1:35 am
    • Reply AKee88

      I am happy to hear you have newer Besties. I do wish you were still in touch with your HS Bestie but we do grow up and life does make it hard sometimes!

      Thank you! =D I thought so too! hehe

      September 23, 2013 at 12:41 am
  • Reply Terry Macri (@CandidaJourney)

    It is so hard to be BEST FRIENDS for life. We grow up and go in different directions sometimes never seeing each other again, but thinking of each other often. I got in contact with my best friend from grade school a few years back. I found that she and I are so very different now .. or maybe we always were. She is now a Man Hater and so cynical that I just don’t want to deal with her remarks about men. She will always remain my friend but we will never be close again.

    August 21, 2013 at 1:36 am
    • Reply AKee88

      It is hard but sometimes it is worth the fight!!

      September 23, 2013 at 12:43 am
  • Reply toughcookiemommy

    I can really appreciate this post because I am currently going through a transition where I find myself growing apart from some family members and friends. You are right, life has a way of changing us and experiences also help to mold us and our relationships with others. It is very sad to reflect upon a time where the relationship was a close one but, then, that is life.

    August 21, 2013 at 1:38 am
    • Reply AKee88

      Sometimes life just sucks! I just hope that we can find a way to make some peace and become friend again… I can hope right?

      September 23, 2013 at 12:45 am
  • Reply Growing Up Madison

    I moved thousands of miles away from my childhood friends but we still keep in touch via phone and facebook. Sounds like you have a really great friend and I’m glad you can put it in writing about how you feel about it. Sometimes it’s a lot easier to write our feelings than to actually say them but I’m sure she’ll appreciate it if you did.

    August 21, 2013 at 10:59 am
    • Reply AKee88

      I am glad that even after moving you are able to keep in touch! There aren’t many true friendships anymore and we need to hold on to the ones we have! I think we will do okay in the end it is just a matter of time.

      September 23, 2013 at 12:50 am
  • Reply Pixie Dust Savings (@PixieDustSaving)

    My childhood bestie is Kerstan. We are still friends on Facebook. She was the neighborhood bestie. My school bestie is Charlotte and we still talk all the time. She is my girlie tll the end.

    August 21, 2013 at 11:56 am
    • Reply AKee88

      I am glad you are still in touch with your besties!!

      September 23, 2013 at 12:50 am
  • Reply mommasbacon

    I kept in touch with a few people from high school but not beyond that mostly because I was more of a loner and the friends I had weren’t really good friends. I only had one friend where I thought we were close but we grew apart for good reason although the door is always open for a chat. We grow up and do change, and some friends were never healthy for us in the first place. Unfortunately, I had a lot of that until I grew up myself in my early 20s. Such is life, I guess. Sounds like you want to give your friend a call. You could always try!

    August 21, 2013 at 12:12 pm
    • Reply AKee88

      I know what you mean. I was always a bit of a loner myself. I have had some friendship I was happy to end as well!!

      September 23, 2013 at 12:51 am
  • Reply Kristyn

    growing up my family and i constantly moved every few years and it was tough always saying goodbye to friends :/ I know have most of them as friends on FB but we drifted apart and never stayed besties :/

    August 21, 2013 at 1:02 pm
    • Reply AKee88

      That sucks!! Everyone should have a childhood bestie!!

      September 23, 2013 at 12:52 am
  • Reply Jutta Lenihan

    I am still very close to my best friend from first grade. We have been BFF for a long time, but then went to different schools. It never changed a lot. Sure we did make new friends and weren’t able to see each other that often anymore, but this feeling of trust and being able to tell that person everything stayed. So now we still call each other first if there is something new :)

    August 21, 2013 at 1:16 pm
    • Reply AKee88

      That is awesome!! I am so glad that you are still so close!!

      September 23, 2013 at 12:53 am
  • Reply Dawn ~ Spatulas On Parade

    I did grow up with a best friend and living in the country no one was next door. We stayed in touch but like you lost contact after we were both divorced from military guys, lived in other states and so on. With modern technology we have reconnected with Facebook and have seen each other a few times. Most recently when my father passed away , she was the first one there. Just like when her son commited suicide 10 years ago, I was there first. She knows I love her and I know she loves me, our lives are very different and we don’t live close but we are in each others thoughts and hearts.
    thank you for sharing

    August 21, 2013 at 3:46 pm
    • Reply AKee88

      I am sorry for yours and her loss. I am glad you two are still in touch though. =)

      September 23, 2013 at 12:54 am
  • Reply Sarah

    Wonderfully thoughtful post. I had 2 ‘best friends’ as a kid one was the one who lived in the same street as me but went to a different school and the other I went to school with. I moved away when I hit my teens and things dwindled – sadly I don’t speak to one anymore – I do wonder about her sometimes, wonder how she is, is life treating her well and is she happy. The other one I speak to often and we are as close as we ever were I think she will hopefully be a friend for life and I am so very proud of her.

    August 21, 2013 at 3:47 pm
    • Reply AKee88

      I hope you are able to get intocuh with your friend one day! it’s always worth it to try!!

      September 23, 2013 at 12:55 am
  • Reply Grandma Bonnie

    Wow, your feeling run deep for your friend. With today’s communication being a lot easier than in the past you might be able to stay in contact and revive your friendship.

    August 21, 2013 at 5:11 pm
    • Reply AKee88

      That they do!! I have known her my entire life! =)

      September 23, 2013 at 1:00 am
  • Reply Wondermom Wannabe (@WondermomWannab)

    Childhood friendships create such wonderful and meaningful memories! I grew and moved away from all of my close childhood friends. Every once in awhile when I reconnect with them it is funny to me how we can pick right up where we left off and then disappear from each other’s lives again just as easily. For me, the memories and the occasional opportunity to relive the highlights with those individuals is more than enough.

    August 21, 2013 at 6:49 pm
    • Reply AKee88

      I couldn’t agree with you more! Even though we go through some tough times we do pick up where left off.

      September 23, 2013 at 1:23 am
  • Reply pamatiw

    My best friend in grade school moved away when we went to 7th grade. I was devastated. Came from a real rural area – small town and we did everything together. She not only moved far away but she moved to another country. We kept in touch for years but over time that stopped. I miss her and have no idea how to get a hold of her anymore.

    August 21, 2013 at 7:27 pm
    • Reply AKee88

      That is so sad! I hope one day she will find you or you find her. Moving is tough espc when it’s in another country!!

      September 23, 2013 at 1:44 am
  • Reply Becca

    I recently re-connected with one of my childhood friends and it is so great! We do grow apart as we grow older but if the friendship is one you cherish there are ways of getting it back :)

    This is a wonderful, deep, insightful post and I appreciate you taking the time and heart to write it :)

    August 21, 2013 at 7:39 pm
    • Reply AKee88

      I am glad you were able to connect with your friend. Friends are like family, we have to fight for them!

      September 23, 2013 at 1:45 am
  • Reply Alyssa C

    I will actually be reconnecting with my childhood best friend at Sophia’s birthday, we were inseparable throughout middle school and my mom decided to move us and I lost contact. Rewind to about 3 years ago, I found her on Facebook and we’ve been in touch here and there! I’m so nervous about meeting her, I’m scared it will be awkward but we both have big mouths and are out spoken so I’m sure it will all be just fine! ;)

    Thank for sharing this post!

    August 21, 2013 at 8:10 pm
    • Reply AKee88

      I thing everything will turn our just fine!!!

      September 23, 2013 at 1:46 am
  • Reply Bobbi's Kozy Kitchen (@BobbisKozyKtchn)

    Beautiful post! So true and I can completely understand it. I have lost touch with many of my childhood friends. Facebook has made it easier to stay in touch but even that seems a bit cold and impersonal.

    August 21, 2013 at 10:34 pm
    • Reply AKee88

      Thank you!! FB is great for those who live so far but i miss old days with phone calls and writing letters!

      September 23, 2013 at 1:46 am
  • Reply Melinda Dunne (@MelindaDunne)

    I am actually still in contact with a couple of my childhood friends. We are very different now but we still have a lot in common. It is really interesting to see how things change and what road others choose. I have great memories of our time when we were younger but now I can talk about the damaged kid I was and who I am now. It is good to change and grow and still feel safe sharing everything.

    August 22, 2013 at 12:55 am
    • Reply AKee88

      Im glad that you are still in contact. It is great to see how we change but we shouldn’t let change push apart!

      September 23, 2013 at 2:17 pm
  • Reply Tatiana

    This kind of made me tear up a bit. Not only because I didn’t really have the traditional sort of childhood friend since mines came about when I was already in my teens but also because she died from an overdose a few months after we lost touch. I actually found out on a random trip to Walmart when I ran into her parents. It is really stay connected to someone especially when your lives go through such different paths but if you have a chance to be close again definitely work it out and take it because you never know what will happen. It must be really nice to have someone that you practically grew up with and luckier still to be able to speak to that person. I am not so lucky and I still to this day wonder what she is up to until the cold realization of her death hits me. I miss her a lot & sometimes I wonder if she would have been OK had I been able to be there for her to discourage her from the drugs. But alas life is not that simple. I am glad you were able to get in touch with your childhood friend & you should definitely not be afraid to tell her how you feel after all tomorrow isn’t promised.

    August 22, 2013 at 12:59 am
    • Reply AKee88

      I am sorry you lost your friend. I couldn’t even imagine how hard that much have been! I am sure she is watching over you!!!

      September 23, 2013 at 2:32 pm
  • Reply cynthial1956

    I think that good friends always stay close in their hearts, even if they can’t stay close physically. I am sure your friend knows you care for her and I am also sure you will get together again.

    August 22, 2013 at 2:43 am
  • Reply Eco Friendly Homemaking

    What a great post. I think sometimes it is hard to stay friends after we grow up and start families of our own.

    August 22, 2013 at 2:56 am
  • Reply Victoria

    This is a great post. My childhood bestie and I also drifted apart. However, it was due to both of us moving. She moved to a new city and I moved to a new state. We occasionally talk on Facebook a few times year but that is about it.

    August 22, 2013 at 10:47 am
  • Reply Aida ingram

    LOL This really is an awesome post. It’s funny we had a great neighborhood where all of the kids were around the same age. At times that was good and at other times it wasn’t. Many of my friends are still around and doing great. I also had some friends that turned out to be seasonal and I had to figure out how to live with that as well…..Life is a continual opportunity for growth…

    August 22, 2013 at 11:41 am
  • Reply Milena

    This was a very thought provoking piece. I feel as if something like this has probably happened to most people. I wish I still had a connection with my childhood friends beyond Facebook.

    August 22, 2013 at 11:54 am
  • Reply Delphina

    What a beautiful post! Thank you.

    August 22, 2013 at 1:28 pm
  • Reply SixFeetUnderBlog

    I’ve found myself growing apart from old friends and we barely speak now. It’s so hard to make new friends, so I wish I had kept the old ones. Deep reading and great photo!

    August 22, 2013 at 3:54 pm
  • Reply [email protected] (@pamwattenbarger)

    That is such a sweet post. My childhood best friend and I drifted apart too. I saw her once after I was married but she didnt seem interested in staying in touch.

    August 23, 2013 at 12:16 am
  • Reply mommasbacon

    I’d love to see a follow-up to this post….of after you contacted her. :-)

    August 23, 2013 at 6:36 pm
  • Reply cindy b

    Ahh love reading this! Brings back lots of great memories for me! Thank you so much for sharing!

    August 23, 2013 at 7:33 pm
  • Reply agatapokutycka

    Yes, it is hard to have friendships for life… but it is worth working on it… so far I managed to have 1 BF for the last 20 years…

    August 24, 2013 at 3:43 pm
  • Reply Diane Nassy (@philZENdia)

    I’ve had many childhood besties in the past. They have all moved away. I totally lost contact with the one that was closest to me. The others I am friends with on FB.

    August 26, 2013 at 6:45 pm
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